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“You can catch more
flies with honey than with vinegar.”
--Old Proverb
“They’re still just
flies.”
--My husband
Frank
Frank
has a way of putting things that helps me keep my perspective.
I was raised
to show respect for my elders, treat others as I wish to be treated, and
be honest to the best of my ability. What happens, however, when these
characteristics are ingrained in your brain, you become susceptible to
elders who are not trustworthy, open to those who will take advantage of
kindness, and discover that in many situations, honesty could get you
tarred and feathered.
These are
all lessons hard learned, but they are important lessons in life.
Unfortunately, as you learn these lessons, you can easily become
disappointed, angry, and resentful. You can lose faith in humanity--one
human being at a time. I think the most important lesson in life is to
not let that happen.
People will
be people--that you can trust. Human beings are flawed, scarred,
self-serving creatures who have an instinct to do whatever is needed to
survive. Some value health, others value money, while some crave
attention or place image and reputation above all else. Like computers,
we merely process what has been programmed into our microchips.
Our purpose
in life is to strive for improvement, to work toward perfection. None of
us are perfect. None of us are excused from having our names,
accomplishments or downfalls in the newspaper. All of us are quotable.
As members of a community, developments in all our lives qualify as
community news. I know, should I trip and fall, my demise will spread
like wild fire along the back yard fence.
We are all,
in the end, just flies in the buttermilk of life.
Over the
past few years in this news business, I have learned a little more about
flies. Flies don’t buzz around beautiful, scented flowers, or swarm near
crystal clear waters. Flies, in their nature, tend to like the rich,
musty smells of death, of rotten situations, of sickening sweet dripping
sap. They will flock to a pile of dung in the field.
Controversy
will sell a thousand newspapers. Compliments will sell about five.
Admit it or
not, this is our nature. We have been trained to seek out blood, sweat
and tears. We buzz around the ears of others, biting and feeding,
spreading germs of hidden agendas, green slimy jealousy, of anger, and
bitterness, and greed.
So often we
dish out vinegar, and then bring out the honey to save our hides.
You know,
sweet and sour dressing is made with honey and vinegar. This is where I
have found balance as a reporter--and in life. We cannot avoid the
vinegar, nor hoard all the honey. It is the combination of the two that
makes life tangy.
Some people
prefer all oil and vinegar on the salad greens of their lives. Others
prefer sweet honey French, smothered so heavily they lose the fresh,
earthy reality of the salad. I find that a light coating of sweet and
sour has a balance that brings out the flavors of the salad, without
adding too much fat, cholesterol and calories.
In the end,
all dressings will draw flies, and I suppose I’ve now mixed enough
metaphors to make my point as clear as mud, but let me try one more
analogy.
In the
movie, “Pirates of the
Caribbean,”
Johnny
Depp
throws dirt in the face of the good guy during a duel. The good guy
says, “You cheated!” Depp responds, pointing to himself, “Pirate.” Duh.
So when
someone says to me, “I can’t believe you quoted me,” or “I can’t believe
you put that in the newspaper,” or “that was none of your business,” I’m
inclined to respond in a similar manner, pointing to myself and saying,
“Reporter.” Duh.
Just as pirates,
magistrates, police officers, businessmen, reporters, do what they do,
all humans act according to their own nature. They may not have a paying
job, but each person will act according to their own personal job
description for living, buzzing around from smell to smell, from task to
task, from person to person.
Pirates, reporters,
housewives, lawyers, politicians, we’re all just flies anyway--no matter
how we eat our salad.
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