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When I was about eight
years old, my sister and I were laying in bunk beds in my grandfather’s
cabin in Blue,
W.Va. (Tyler
County)
with me chattering away.
Gail
was tired, but I couldn’t go to sleep. She told me to make up stories in
my mind – with anything possible. That would help me fall asleep. It was
the beginning of a life-long habit.
Years later,
my cousin Erin
and I discussed tricks for falling asleep, and she explained her story
game, called “What if?” What if she lived in
Ireland?
What if she had her own rock band? What if she could be invisible? What
if she had magical powers?
I
incorporated her approach over the years, but one “What if” topic has
became my favorite. It’s the one where I pretend I can just snap my
fingers and make things happen. It doesn’t involve magic either. It
involves money…
What if I
won the lottery?
At first, my
lottery-solution stories were personal. I’d buy a house; remodel
whichever house I was living in; move to
Alaska,
buy a little newspaper, rent kayaks on the side, and finish the novel I
started ten years ago.
I’d fix the
vehicle, buy a vehicle, buy five vehicles. I’d buy
Frank
a new tractor, a new bulldozer, and one of those things that digs
ditches.
But then I
became a
Calhoun
County
reporter, and each night as I imagined possibilities, I began thinking
of solutions I could fund for current community problems, people I could
empower and employ, projects I could start, support, and see through to
the end.
You see,
politicians and government entities have to follow rules and get board
approvals. Businesses have to make money. Millionaires can just write a
check and get it done.
For example,
I have, in my mind, given the county funds to enforce the flood plain
ordinance, and paid for the new town hall. I created a business called
“Work Wanted” where the unemployed who need work get paid to help widows
with handyman chores and complete community projects like cutting brush
back from creek banks, or watering hanging flower baskets on new brass
light poles lining Main Street.
I’ve created a research
team to find charters, hunt down purported liens, map out where the
town’s water and sewer lines lay. I’ve hired private eyes to follow
people around to see if rumors hold true. I’ve painted a huge mural on
the white building across from the old jail house that says, “Welcome to
Grantsville, Home of the Wood Festival.”
In my late
night stories, we have built a humane shelter, dredged the Upper West
Fork, tripled the size of the farmer’s market, padded the seats in the
court room, purchased Technicolor busses for
Heartwood,
and have senior living communities in three locations within the county.
We have a Kmart, and two bookmobiles at the county library.
All roads
are smooth and paved in What If Calhoun, and everyone has high speed
Internet access. Recreation opportunities abound along the river, and
campsites at
UWF
Park
are full. In What If Calhoun, star gazers hold an annual Moon Festival
at the county park, a skateboard park stands in the pool’s empty lot,
and cell phone towers stand tall on two mountain ridges.
Behind the scenes of all
of this, of course, my public relations firm has a million dollar budget
and a full-time staff dedicated specifically to marketing
Calhoun
County
for tourism and as a senior citizen friendly community. (We also run a
radio station that plays nothing but the 70’s, and once a week we put
out a full-color community newspaper, complete with comics, Dear Annie,
and those new number puzzles that are so popular.)
I have an
administrative assistant, an accountant and an attorney. I drive around
from project to project in my forest green full-size Chevy truck with my
lap top, my cell phone, and my dog, Jazzy, in the passenger seat.
Frank’s
got a whole farm crew, a collection of large equipment, has started
building our new house on the hill, and his Chevy truck is a deep, dark
purple.
(I realize
that right now many readers are thinking I’m a little mentally
imbalanced, but you see how this make-believe world could be a place one
would return to every night...)
Sometimes
though, it’s the “little” things that really make you wish it was as
simple as writing a check. As I shiver each year with the crowd gathered
for the annual Christmas parade, I annually wish for three things:
warmth, better lighting, and more prominent Christmas decorations along
Main Street.
This year,
the Lion’s Club has discussed the town’s Christmas decorations with me,
(since I mistakenly thought the town did it) and I am just now learning
the issues of this service they provide. They need a certified
electrician to repair some non-functional outlets on the town’s lighting
system, and also funds to make the new frames they purchased really
sparkle and shine. This is a project of which they are very proud and
take seriously.
In the real world, funds
are limited. These challenges seem big, and daunting. But you and I
know, if we could just make it happen by writing a check, it would be a
“little thing” and would get done.
What if we could pay an
electrician, or buy two hundred strings of lights and a mile of garland?
What if we could install four more street lights?
What if I
could pay for one street light, and you could pay for another, and he
could pay for another? Or if I could buy one box of outdoor Christmas
lights, and you could buy two, and she could buy one, and he could buy
another?
What if we
could all just send $5 to the Lion’s Club for Christmas decorations?
What If…
I think I’d better go
buy a lottery ticket.
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