Off The Cuff Archive

It is not what you call me, but what I answer to.

                                                                   --African Proverb

 On days when I feel insecure or blue, I can look back on recent (or not so recent) situations with a different perspective and realize that others may have been laughing at me, or rolling their eyes. Very rarely in life have I had the sense to be embarrassed when I should be.

 I can take pictures of people all day, smiling and enjoying the moment--only later to realize that when one lady said, “As far as I’m concerned, you’re nothing but a nuisance,” she may have not been kidding.

 We all know people in our community that make us cringe upon hearing their name, scoff when they speak, and dread the moment when they approach us. When I am feeling blue, I realize there is a great possibility that I am one of those people.

Most of the time, however, I am oblivious to what people call me, because I am busy answering to another call. I am focused on my current task, my current goals, my dreams of the person I want to be, and I don’t even hear the chastising words of others.

It’s not until I get home at night and reflect on the day that I realize that, perhaps, not all the people I dealt with that day saw me as the person I assume to be. I realize that some, during the day, may have smiled to my face, yet scoffed at my back. I realize that what I interpreted as a compliment may have been dripping with sarcasm.

 Of course, I am an adult. I know we can’t please everyone, and I do spend enough time outside my own little world to know the names that some have given me. Many of the titles I have I share with others, like “redneck” or “hippie,” or “know it all” or “smart alec.”

 Names like “nuisance” or “trouble” or “busybody” are obviously tied to what I do in my job (and are not necessarily names that I can oppose). Profane names and character assassinations are hurtful, but normally are issued by those who have questionable character themselves.

 We all are given titles and names that are not fitting or deserved. From the time we are born, the world tries to label us and fit us into a category that can be filed and counted and kept in tow: hillbilly, hick, Calhouner, West Virginian, white trash, blue collar, single, married, divorced, rich, poor, high class, low class, middle class, jock, snob, geek, freak.

 Names do not make us who we are. Names do not limit our potential to become the person we want to be; they do not mandate the paths we choose in our lives.

 I don’t like to be categorized, or labeled, or shucked into a group where I don’t fit. I know who I am, regardless of what people call me. I know where I came from, and hope I know where I am going.

 Don’t let someone else’s labels get you down. Focus on the person you hope to be, want to be, work to be. Don’t let the simple name-calling of others lock you into a limited outlook on life.

I am a daughter, sister, wife, friend. I am a writer, reader, life-long learner. I am a woman, adult, traveler. I can be trouble, nuisance, busybody, but that is not who I am, and not what I answer to.

 Who are you? Name your dream, your goal, yourself. Own that name, and embrace it. Wear it as armor against the sticky labels of the world. For it is not what they call you that reflects who you are, but what you answer to.