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The Funny Farm
by Robin Gordon

     

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 I had always lived in cities (I came here from Indianapolis), until I moved to Calhoun County. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever be a part of raising livestock. Through the years, we have owned a goat named Root Beer, pigs named Porky and Spanky, and various chickens. So, I would like to give you a birds-eye view of our life. We know we are not real farmers, but our yard is our little “Funny Farm.”

 

I would like to tell you how it all began:

 

When I started dating Danny, a West Fork farm boy, he worked on his cousins’ (Basil and Janet Butler) farm. I soon found out that I knew very little, okay, nothing, about country life. Basil had about 40 head of cattle, plus calves. When it comes time to feed, and you call the cows to the barn, a person can get stampeded. I still feel that way! I recall Danny showing me how to milk a cow. I know people have milked cows since the beginning of time, but it felt completely unnatural to me. It freaked me out.

 

Another instance with cows occurred when Basil was inoculating the herd. When a bull decides he is getting out of the gates, he is getting the heck out of there. Danny, Tim Metheney and Scott Butler finally got the bull back into the pen. All I could think was . . . stampede.

 

On one occasion, Danny and I were at Doy Butler’s house and Doy was telling me how to plant potatoes uphill. I knew that didn’t sound right, but who was I to question a man who has farmed as long as him. Doy was always joking with me, and I figured it was because I was a city slicker, or blonde, or both.

 

Those are some of the accounts of what I had to undergo during my courtship with Danny, and I wouldn’t change a thing, except maybe the smell of cow dung.

 

I recently said to Danny, “If you would have told me 17 years ago that we would have livestock, I would have called you a liar!”

 

Funny Farm Archives

 

Porky and Spanky

 

A Goat Named Root Beer

 

Chickens, Chickens, and More Chickens

 

Riffle The Rooster

 

Doggie Door Critters

 

More Ali and Random Acts That We Encounter

 

Funny Farm Finale

This Week's Editorial:

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