Call and ask about our 2009 advertising rates!
(304) 354-6917

The Funny Farm
by Robin Gordon


Updated on Wednesday*:

Community Calendar


Around Calhoun 

The Publisher's Desk

Week in History

Waste Not, Want Not

Classified Ads

This Week in Photos


Hildreth Supply

Calhoun Realty

Venezia Law

Guest Book

Doggie Door Critters

When we purchased a doggie door, I thought, “Great! This will make my life so much easier.” Little did I know that the little hole in my door would lead to events that I am about to describe.


We got the door because our first Jack Russell dog, Buddy, would have me up throughout the night. Danny installed the door so that I might get a good night’s sleep. Soon thereafter, Buddy was stolen. Then we obtained Jumper, another Jack Russell, that was stolen. Next, we got Abby, yet another Jack Russell, and somebody decided they didn’t want to slow down past our house and hit her. Now, we have a new dog, Mr. Patches, and I’m sure you can guess what breed he is. We also have a cat named Muffy that hates everyone but me. When visitors try to pet her, she growls, scratches, and becomes the Exorcist cat. The other cat, Baby, is loving and has a little kitten named Striped. This is where the fun begins.


Since Baby had Striped, her maternal instincts kicked in. Baby has brought three chipmunks through the door. How we haven’t seen her bring them in is beyond me. Levi and friend Tyler King caught one of the critters with a little waste basket. For the second one, Levi was on a solo mission and apprehended the little Chip ’n Dale. Picture the chipmunk scampering through the house, the dog barking frantically, and Baby calmly watching the whole ordeal. My heart is racing, my arms are flailing, and I am screaming to Levi which direction that little booger is going.


The third chipmunk was a bit more sneaky than the rest. He decided that basement steps are his freedom path. If you have a basement, you know how cluttered it can get. For three weeks, we saw that rascal daily. He made himself known when you weren’t expecting him. Turn on a light, he dashes across the floor--the cat just watches. Two weeks ago, my Gram let me borrow her HavaHart live trap to put in the basement. The only thing that set it off was me tripping over it. Last week, we had the basement door open (in hopes the chipmunk would run out) and I saw him. He had darted out the door. Hallelujah!


But wait. My dog is at the end of the walkway. I said, “Get him Patches!” Patches chases towards me, and I am screaming, waving my arms. I threw two empty pop cans at the chipmunk. I missed--and the chipmunk returned to the Gordon household. Since last week, I have left the door open frequently and, knock on wood, I haven’t seen him, so I am praying that he has returned to the great “out” doors.


There is more. Two weeks ago, I was watching TV and thought something looked funny in the hallway. I told Levi to turn the light on and see what the cat was doing. Baby had brought a bunny into the house. The wascally wabbit was so tired, I guess it just surrendered. Levi was able to pick it up and release it outside.


There is more. Last week, I was sitting in the recliner and watching TV again (I like my TV), and I felt a scratching under my butt. Oh no, I must have trapped Striped in the chair. I raised the recliner--and saw a rabbit’s nose. I jumped back and screamed, “There’s a rabbit under my chair!” Levi leaped up and ran to the hall to close all the bedroom doors. I stood by the basement door, just to be on the safe side. The bunny ran behind the couch. Levi yelled at me to keep quiet, because I am making him nervous. I got Levi’s wastebasket and he scooted the rabbit in the basket with a broom. As he carried the waste can, the rabbit showed us how he can jump. He’s out and the race has begun once more. I was in the hallway yelling his progress to Levi, who cornered the rabbit and put the can over him. Levi slid the wastebasket to the door and the rabbit had his freedom.


Danny is lucky enough to be working when all these escapades occur. He gets a good laugh at my expense.


I guess I am not like my cat. My maternal instincts go right out the window when it comes to doggie door critters. Every kid and mom for themselves!


Next week: More Ali and random acts that we encounter.

This Week's Editorial:

By Helen Morris:

Publisher's Desk

Calhoun County Map

Calhoun Map

Important Links




Chronicle Staff

Homeland Security

WV Your Way

WV Travelers

Contact the webmaster.

Free Guestbook
Calhoun Chronicle's Guestbook

Encounter Calhoun County
SportsFuneral NoticesSubscribeAdvertiseSubmit NewsPrivacy Policy

© 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 Calhoun County Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
P.O. Box 400, Grantsville, WV 26147