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Deer Diary . . .
Sure Puts A Dent In Your Wallet
by Robin Gordon
     

Updated on Wednesday*:

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This sport they call hunting is putting a dent in my wallet! I know, I have already complained about prices of wildlife cameras and feeding the deer with outrageously priced corn. Sometimes I think we put more money into corn than we do our dinner table.

I want to talk about scent-free products that Danny just can’t live without. We may as well go in the order they are used. First, there is the laundry detergent. On the bottle, it says that it will remove all traces of human scent and other unwanted odors. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want an unwanted odor, whatever that means. Then, there are fabric softener sheets. Surely, we do not want static cling.

Now for personal hygiene. When Danny is getting ready to shower, he gets out his camouflaged shaving kit bag that contains all the necessities, including a bar of soap that makes him smell like Mother Earth. Next, he uses the special shampoo and conditioner, so I can say, “Gee, Danny, your hair smells terrific.” Not! I hate to say it, but this product does not affect gray hair, so you will need to get that other product just for men.

After the shower is completed, it is time to make sure the ever important deodorant is applied. Some people do not use this product while hunting, which I do not understand. They are afraid they will get “winded” from the deer, that means they can smell you. What do you think the deer will smell first, your scent-free deodorant or “unwanted” odors? Hmm, that’s a tough one. I wonder why they do not make a toothpaste or gum for this occasion. I can see the slogan now, “Want a dirtier mouth, then don’t clean it up with our toothpaste or chewing gum.” Whoever bought that product would be a die-hard hunter.

Finally, I want to present you with an alternative and cheaper way. A few days before the season starts, put your hunting clothes in a garbage bag. Go out in the woods, or even your yard, and collect pine branches and leaves. Place all the objects in the bag and fasten the bag till deer season. It seems to be an inexpensive route to follow. Grizzly Adams never had all these options in his time, and it didn’t appear like he was starving.

Next week, I am going to chat about apparel and the importance of keeping warm and dry.

Oh, the things I have to endure for my deer, oops, dear Danny.

Remember, any comments or questions are appreciated. Email robin@calhounchronicle.com.

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