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On The Trail Of a Dear . . .
Abominable - Blaze Orange - Snowman
by Maricia Mlynek

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My training is officially underway. As I continue to study the hunting regulations, I am becoming more and more aware that there is a great deal to learn. I confess, however, that there are several regulations that seem like common sense. For example, one regulation is as follows: “It is illegal to shoot at or to shoot any wild bird or animal unless it is plainly visible.” How do you shoot something you can’t see? This hunting world is a mystery to me.

The regulation that Andy has been discussing with me most recently is about hunting attire. This law makes sense. Hunters must wear at least 400 square inches of blaze orange. If people are shooting animals that aren’t “plainly visible,” one better look like a human flare out there in the woods. There was a catch to this regulation for this writer. I do not own any blaze orange. Somehow, my wardrobe never seemed to need this color. Not to worry, we went shopping.

As we walked through the lands of Real Tree and Mossy Oak, I began to realize that I may have been tricked. My dear husband may have agreed to allow me to trail him because of the “necessary” hunting apparel that we would have to purchase. I was very surprised at the high cost of items. Though I desired clothes that fit me, it didn’t make sense to spend that much money on an outfit I won’t be wearing too many times. Thus, we decided to buy an outfit that would fit both of us. Which really means it fits Andy. I will roll up the pants and sleeves to make it work. Oh, the sacrifices I must make.

Andy now has some nice new hunting clothes, and I believe I am getting in over my head. Speaking of head, I also purchased a new orange cap. It looks great with the hunting vest. With the new apparel, I am ready to hit the trail.

I have been warned about the cold weather and have decided to take the necessary precautions. We have all the long underwear, Underarmor, and Poly Pro a person could ever need. I have chosen the best set and purchased hand warmers to place in my gloves, boots, or any other necessary places.

I assure you that I will look ridiculous, but I will be warm. Remember Ralphie’s little brother in “The Christmas Story”? Imagine him bundled up in blaze orange, and you have pictured my hunting apparel perfectly. Andy might not have to shoot the deer; it may die laughing at the abominable snowman he has on his trail.


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