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Plans Canceled
To Lease Bear Fork

by C.M. Butts


Updated on Wednesday*:

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Proposing to lease Bear Fork Hunting Club property for the summer months, a group of health enthusiasts from New York City came to the area for a week to spend time on the property.

“I guess I always assumed that being in the woods was like a walk in Central Park. Lots of trees and grass, a good place to enjoy yourself,” said a representative of the group, “I had no idea there were so many dangers in the woods. Like chiggers, poison ivy, poison oak and poison sumac, hawthorns, snakes, bees, greenbriers but the worst of all were the stinging nettles.”

Before the week was over, there was not a bottle of Calamine lotion to be found in the county.

“We heard about this place from a friend who had been there. I guess we just misunderstood. We thought he  was saying, “Bare” Fork, and that idea really appealed to us as we are a group of nudists. Now we know that you can’t go natural in nature,” said a spokesman.

The deal was canceled and the group returned to New York, much wiser but with many welts and scratches in places we will not mention.

It has been reported that when the group returned to the city, some of them started a heavy metal band which they named “The Stinging Nettles” in remembrance of their week spent in the hills of West Virginia.                                                April Fools


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