Taurus - You
are under the sign of the bull. This may seem scary to you. Just stay
close to the front end and don’t dilly dally.
Aries - You
cannot fool Mother Nature, no matter how hard you try. Don’t purchase
make up or hair dye. Save your money today.
Don’t be naïve today. You will not get a prize if you pick your nose.
You can pick your friends, not your nose.
Cancer - You
cannot teach an old dog new tricks, so just roll over and play dead.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Leo - Be
wary of friends bearing gifts. No matter what they say, you can’t eat
toe jam on toast.
Virgo - If
you lie with dogs, you will get fleas. Behave yourself and stay out of
the dog house today.
Libra - A
vacation is in your future. Your boss’ nephew has just moved to town and
needs a job.
You will soon get a visit from your mother-in-law. It is a good time to
start planning your vacation, as soon as she lets you know the date.
You will be doing some public speaking soon. Don’t be nervous, if you
picture the audience in their underwear, just imagine how they will
picture you with none.
Gravity has not been kind to you. Now is a good time for a tummy tuck
and a face lift. You don’t always have to bring up the rear.
Love is in the air, unfortunately so is the pollen. Now would be a good
time to stock up on allergy meds, and remember that love is nothing to
Born Today, Apr.
1 - You have always been there for family and friends. Obviously,
you were no good at hide-n-seek. You are nobody’s fool, so why are you
--------------------- April Fools